Atheists and Christians face a serious problem. They have to coexist in the same world. Unfortunately for both groups, it's simply not likely that they will convince the other side to back down and see the light of truth. Perhaps this will happen in the future (I certainly hope it will) but that day is far off and I think we should adopt better strategies in trying to reach it. This will be directed towards atheists but christians can apply the same principles.
First, accent similarities, not differences. Do you believe God is the foundation of morality? Obviously not, something that does not exist cannot be the foundation of anything but a delusion. Should you focus on the fact that 'God does not exist' as a reason to look elsewhere for moral foundations when you're speaking with christians? Again the answer is no. This is a non-starter. The fact that God exists is a foundational belief that christians hold. Attacking it can only be successful when more periphery beliefs have been changed. Examples of periphery beliefs might be the evidence in the new testament about the resurrection or a belief that some of the traditional arguments for God succeed (the ontological, design, kalam, and so on).
Instead you should focus on all the beliefs you have in common. There are more than you might think. Is it morally right to rape, murder, and abuse? You will both agree (I hope!) that it is not. As you explore specific moral views you'll both see that you agree on most topics, or at least that you agree much more than you disagree. This accomplishes two things. It helps them identify with you ("this guy isn't so different from me after all...") and it lets them know that a different foundation for their moral beliefs exists and this foundation does not require gods. Luckily this sense of identification and works on you as well. If it's done right this exercise should make both parties like each other more and bring us one step closer to living in relative harmony.
Second, don't ridicule them. Is it ridiculous that they believe they have an omnipotent invisible friend who will grant their wishes if they ask hard enough? Maybe. Does it seem ridiculous to them? Not at all. You alienate and anger them by implying that it does. From the Christian view you are lost in an ocean of lies and immorality, isolated from an amazing truth, and yearning (perhaps secretly) for a relationship with God. When you ridicule them this impression deepens.
Another thing happening is that you make their devotion to their group stronger by challenging them especially if the challenge is a good argument. That last part is important. When attacked we retreat to positions we're committed to. This is not a rational decision, it's emotional and immediate. All humans do this whether they're christian, atheist, rational, or irrational. We'll do the same thing whether it's actually a good reason or not unless we've specifically trained ourselves to do otherwise. Since we live in a world were this training is very rare we've got to work with people as they are. We also don't think clearly when we're angry (that bit is pretty obvious). So the worst thing you can do when trying to identify with someone or convince them of anything is to ridicule them. Finally, remember that ridicule is not always intended. Monitor what you say and how you say it. In another post I may get into how to best phrase arguments to avoid giving the wrong impression.
Last but not least remember that you're still going to disagree at the end of the day. Nothing you say will be a knock down proof of your position and even if it was we shouldn't expect christians to accept it. What I've argued for here is a small step in the right direction. Once atheists are accepted by christian communities as normal and good people we can begin to explain why we think their beliefs are false and why it's important to use better belief forming methods. The more they identify with us the easier this process will be.
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